Friday, May 17, 2013

How to Seem Rich


If you want to seem rich, wear white jeans.  I noticed this when I put mine on this morning and looked EXACTLY like this...


If you want to seem rich, drive an old luxury car.  Everyone will think you bought the best car in the world 40 years ago and have just been too busy and interesting to follow trends.



If you want to seem rich, have sleek hair.  I don't know how to achieve this. My hair is more 'Bride of Frankenstein' than 'Bride of Donald Trump'.


If you want to seem rich, have a personal assistant.  This is especially good if you really don't do anything at all.


If you want to seem rich, act only mildly impressed by things that are mind-bogglingly awesome.  "You just bought the villa next to George Clooney in Italy?  Oh, how FUN."


If you want to seem rich, don't bring money.  Remember when Oprah and some really rich guy went to Costco and neither of them brought any money?  Hahaha, that was so funny.  


If you want to seem rich, have an enormous portrait done of yourself.


Rich people LOVE portraits of themselves.


If you want to seem rich, stop fixing up your house.  Start calling it a 'pile' like they do in England.


If you want to seem rich, don't spend any money.  Everyone will think you're charming and eccentric with gobs of money stashed away somewhere...

3 comments:

Barbara said...

Love it! Thanks for the giggles this morning!

Linda Wolf said...

Good one! ;)

Bohemian said...

Hilarious and spot on!

Dawn... The Bohemian